I'm alive & kiciking !

After soo long.... !

Actually I forgot about the existence of this blog...
HAHAHA... faktor usia maybe?

Yeah...
what's new?

WORK
Still in the same office.. It has been roughly about 3 years now.. Alhamdulillah...

WEIGHT
this is ridiculous ! I never thought that I can be this fat ! I'm now 60kg ! Can you believe it? Urghhh -__- I hate my self. the most obvious part is my bulgy tummy ! It looks like I'm pregnant. Nevertheless I'm still not in the mood to control my food intake and exercise. hmmm

WEDDING
Finally. I can talk about wedding ! Alhamdulillah.. I have someone now... I don't know what to call him. Is he my boyfriend? Literally. HAHAHA. We have been discussing about marriage for quite some time. But then I still haven't told my mom. while he already did that. HEHE.. I just pray that he is really my jodoh.. InsyaAllah...

Okay that's all for now. Laters, baby !

4 months ago

It was 4 months ago since my last update ! I'm still alive and kicking !

random updates.

march,april,may - during this months I was so happy. I would say that I'm in love. keep on texting him 24/7. Dalam hati ada taman. We met in the office once in a while to exchange food. he called me sayang, dear, cinta etc. I was so over the moon !

june - I knew the truth. He just using me. He still wants that girl. So June is totally not a good month. I was crying... heartbroken !

and now july is the recovering phase. Im moving on. gotta find new fling !

p dot s : weight has been skyrocketing to almost 58kg now ! what a monster I am T__T

latest about my so called love life

It's been a while.. Nothing much. I'm confuse right now. How can man loves a woman after a few days met? Lemme share what had happened actually.

I met this guy, last week. I would say that he is actually my office mate as we are working in the same building. But we didn't know each other before. Since we are in the same group (during 5 days course) we got hooked ! Oh btw this particular man, have being rejected by a woman lastweek. Thus he is not in the good condition. And now I'm the one who listen to all his ramblings, etc. He kept miscalled & texted me every now and then. I'm a single lady, that is why I can 'layan' him. The problem is now, I'm scared that I would fall to him. I don't want to. arghhh. life is so complicated ! end.

Eid Mubarak

salam Eid Mubarak to all & Selamat Hari Malaysia!

how's raya everyone? mine was okay. nothing more nothing less. but there's one thing that is more, i've gained more than i should! urghh. i seem can't stop munching raya cookies + rice + or any dishes made by mom. or maybe it just PMS. yes. i used to eat more when it (my menses) comes. when it comes to food i opt for more but when it comes to exercise i opt for less! that's explain clearly why i've this serious body image issue.. hmmmm. but let's put aside this never ending issue for a while. i wanna blog about other things. as my preious entry published regarding the question, yesss as expected! blerghh. it makes me sick! really. i just can't handle it anymore but can't avoid it since it came from my aunties & uncles mouth! furthermore pak ude nearly become a matchmaker! he offered me his colleague, a teacher from kedah. when he asked whether i'm interested to get to know him, i just can't answer. i don't have a heart to say yes YET! but what makes me going nuts is, my mom already started to complain today! she said what am i waiting for? why i turned down pak ude's offer, bla bla bla! omg. how can i answer that? this is definitely not 1st time me being matchmaking by others. in fact my mom had been trying to matchmake me with two guys, and obviously it dosen't work! so did my cousin. my friends and the list goes on. i just too tired for all this. i always pray for this to happen in my doa. i just hope GOD will grant this wish of mine soon ;))

question during HARI RAYA

feels like wanna quit and be a fulltime housewife. but to whom? i don't have a husband YET. i'm so sick to think about this over and over again. arghhh. this coming raya, i'm VERY sure everybody will ask the same question which i don't have the answer. wish i can answer your question but too bad its beyond my control. i better prepare a good answer for that so there will be no more question being asked later. HAHA ;p yeah i know i'm getting older but who am i to tell when am going to get married? people will say that i am too choosy or picky. but i believe in order to be choosy or picky there's must be a list to be chosen right? but taaadaaaa there's no list okay. so how come they say i am choosy? blerggghhh !!

july update

what would you do if a guy ( duda, anak 2, umur 33 ) approach you? yes u are single lady, age 27.. would you try 1st or would you just stay away from him? furthermore you got to know that he's only being divorced a few mths ago. isnt it too fast to find a replacement? btw thats how i feel now. am just blur what to do. a part of me tell me to ignore him but the other part of me just don't. the voice in my head tell me to give him a chance. but me, being me already thinking way ahead... for example if this relationship works then i have to be instant mommy to his child. gulp ! i don't think i can do that.. but after sharing this sistuation with some friends some of them give me positive responses. blerghhhh seriously i don't know....

b e n c i

aku xtaw kenapa die tetibe contact aku. die kata nak tebus salah die dulu. hello!!!! tu 7 tahun lepas ok? what the heck? ape maksud semua ni?? habis terganggu emosi aku. sesungguhnya aku benci perasaan macam ni!!

long silence-090909

hey peeps...

ade yang misses me tak? hehe.
sorry for not updating...! been busy and super duper lazy!! huhu. yeah. this is not my primary blog. so i spend most of my time dekat my primary la.. which is.. http://dotdotdot.blogspot.com. haih. cannot tell la. if i tell then this blog no longer anonymous! haha.

so what i've been up to? nothing much. still the same routine... work n work.. more shopping.. put on weight.. haih.. dunno la. oh ya in my previous entry i mentioned about getting a new boyfie rite.. but it turned out i still single. i cant get along with him. baru 30mins borak kt ym yet he's getting on my nerves!

then this month is the 3rd months i've been working here. and i already started searching a new job. hehe.. mmg plan macam tu. sbb this job macam stepping stone for me. but it dosen't mean i take this job for granted. i still perform my level best.. and so far memang i pun top performer! yeay ;) i have to look for better option coz with the salary that i earn now, there's not much i can do. the basic is cukup2 for me every mth since i dnt have any commitment melainkan bg parents, ptptn and pay for my streamyx. simpan ade la sikit. and dpt shopping pon sikit. so i have to earn at least rm2k if want to have my own car. thats why i kne cr keje lain.. mintak2 tuhan murahkan rezeki.. i've been eyeing to join govt since forever.. hopefully my dream come true soon. i do really hope that 2010 gonna be my lucky year! yeah.. positive!!

ok lah.. enough rambling for today..

its not too late for me to wish all muslims

selamat menjalani ibadah puasa

&&

selamat menyambut hari raya aidilfitri


p/s: thanks dr sam for all ur comments! i really appreciate it!

indecisive

holla peeps.

was thinking to update more often here. but i'm so lazy these days.. plus tired. workplace, so far ok. well i'm not really in the right place as now in the midst of training. but fellow here is cool! me likey ;) its just a week but i felt like know them ages ago... ! and above all i've been assigned as a team leader! how cool is that? heee ;) but it comes with greater responsibilty, more works, etc..

hey if u noticed i kept babbling about how unlucky i am by not having a BF! but it's not anymore... no no no.. don't get me wrong.. i don't have any YET.. but i do have friends who wants to match me with someone, and there is a person who interested to know me better in fb and so on...
meaning there is a possibility that i'm gonna have a BF soon.. i hope so.. being me who is very shy and lack of confident, hard to find one! wish me luck people.. daa~

i'm thinking....

here's the thing.

which one is the worst?

you have a fantastic job, well paid, out of country. but you lost your loved ones.

OR

you don't have a job. not even a temp. but you still got your loved ones by your side each and every day.


CAN MONEY REALLY BUY HAPPINESS?
DOES MONEY THAT REALLY MATTERS?

what do you think?

new entry

okay. its been awhile since my last entry. well I'm going to express bout my feeling today. i hate myself now! is it possible for us as a human to hate ourselves? i don't know.. but being me, yeah this is what i feel.. I HATE MYSELF..
it simply because

1. i have no one. meaning is a BOYFRIEND.. i'm in the mid of 20's yet no one. not even a fling! pathethic!

2. no career. no job. it has been more than 4 months i stuck doing nothing! can u believe it? it's already april. i hate this!

well.. at this moment these two reasons makes me feel i'm such a hopeless,useless........argghhh. stop.

sorry if there is grammatical error or whatsoever. i'm here to improve my english instead of blogging only.

i have a crush on afiq af5? oh no!

okay semalam masa tengok af, suddenly it cross in my mind.
he looks like him! OMG.. can't believe it.. i stare at him without blinking my eye for a minute i guess. hehe ;p well if u wondering he looks like who.. let me tell ya.. afiq af5 resemble my secret admirer! maybe not 100% but still.. hurm. now u know my taste! haha ;)

once again

for once again i wanna share what's inside me..
i feel so stressed currently. what's make me to feel this way? nah! too many okay. everything seems to be not fall into place! oh GOD.. how long i must endure this? i know this is one of the test that i have to go trough in life yet i feel lousy for having such problems! furthermore i have no one to turn to. no one willing to lend their shoulder for me to lean. i am hopeless!! i am very vulnerable lately, easily influenced by anything! yeah.. anything. even when i listen to a song, it can make me cry.. not to mention when i was in difficult position. arrrgghhhh.. :(

wow! it has been a month since my last entry! what a waste..
well.. my life has been so bored.. there's nothing interested happen to me
maybe i'm such unlucky girl.. not yet working. got no boyfy as well. my weight has been skyrocketed. no effective way how to reduce it. no one motivate me to stay slim. my skin seems dull. and i lost my cat. :(

what a boring life i have..
what should i do to spice up my life?

m a r r i a g e + b a b y

tetibe je dpt ctc rmai kwn2 lame..
tp yg sedey nye sume da kawen n ade baby
hurm.. yea
aku jeles sbnrnye!
tp nk wt cmne jodoh xsmpai lg kan...
kalo ikutkan my best fwen & close fwen sume xkawen lg.
yg da kawen ni sume kwn2 sek.. most of 'em dak kelas bwh..
aku bkn nk kate ape tp so far mmg kwn2 rapat aku xde yg kawen pon lg
tp aku still rase sedey.. sbb aku bf pon xde lg
tmbh plak dgn tekanan aku sbg anak sulung ni
isk...

pstu cm best je baby sndiri kan..
ni aku dok excited bile kucing aku branak je la
hurmmm

boyfy

penting ke ade boyfy? ntah la.. aku da 4thn lebih xde bf..
rasenye mcm da mati hati utk ber bf.. hurm.. da tawr.. n aku xdpt nk imagine how im gonna react if i have one soon. heee ;)
but then.. yeah.. aku masih berminat terhadap lelaki. blom bertukar arah.
mintak2 dijauh kan..
cume aku ssh nk suke org. if u ask me, the criteria that im looking for, my answer is
I D O N ' T K N O W
seriously!!!
u know wht there is a guy, i know him for almost 5years.. he has been so nice n good to me
muke pon leh thn but then i feel nothing okey..
buttttt
there is also a guy who i know for only 10 days.. but he manage to make my hearts beat faster!!
so.. to answer your question i must say...

there is no specific criteria as long as i like him.. no matter how he looks, wht he did n etc..
wish i going to find my man soon
amin