july update

what would you do if a guy ( duda, anak 2, umur 33 ) approach you? yes u are single lady, age 27.. would you try 1st or would you just stay away from him? furthermore you got to know that he's only being divorced a few mths ago. isnt it too fast to find a replacement? btw thats how i feel now. am just blur what to do. a part of me tell me to ignore him but the other part of me just don't. the voice in my head tell me to give him a chance. but me, being me already thinking way ahead... for example if this relationship works then i have to be instant mommy to his child. gulp ! i don't think i can do that.. but after sharing this sistuation with some friends some of them give me positive responses. blerghhhh seriously i don't know....

mood swings

yeah i admit. my mood swings from here to there and back here again lately. macam puting meliung! hehe ;p i just hate whenever it crossed my mind. it makes me feel that i'm not relevant and don't belong here. seems like im just a ball that u can kick everytime u want! goshhhh. am i that irrelevant to u guys? hoooooooo!!

n today, at the beginning i think my mood going to be okay but halfway it went haywire again! somebody who is a friend of mine just turned me down! i dont ask u for a money ok? im only asking ur effort, show me ur support! isnt it so hard to do? oh pls! grrrrrr !! i dont know how long im going to behave like this. i wanna be happy go lucky girl that i used to be. but in order to back to normal i have to get rid these feelings ASAP!!

b e n c i

aku xtaw kenapa die tetibe contact aku. die kata nak tebus salah die dulu. hello!!!! tu 7 tahun lepas ok? what the heck? ape maksud semua ni?? habis terganggu emosi aku. sesungguhnya aku benci perasaan macam ni!!

nowhere to run :(

me n family have to move out from our house to.... dont know yet? it such a short notice tho. dunno where to go. can u imagine? its not that kami xde rumah.. its just the house that my mom bought dkt kg.. whereas my dad still working here. cmne plak nk blk kg kan? sumore rumah yg ade kt kl ni too small for us 1 family. flat 2 bilik je pon. tu my parents buat as investment...
so where to go now?
im definitely not at ease now. pening ok mane kami nak pergi. i dnt want to stay out of kl..
da biase dok kl. plus my treatment still on which is in TS. so kalo pndah jauh2 ssh la nk pegi. da la every weekend.

urghhhhh..
to whom it may concern.. ko xde rase kesian ke? xpe la hari ni hari kami. esok luse ko kne br tau.. ALLAH maha adil...


on the other note
it has been more than a month :( only 1 cat manage to go home.
ADIK, i miss u teribbly~

i really hate this!!

i am so sad..
rasa down sgt.. i admit.. it was wrong.. diorg semua da sabar lama agaknye smpai personally give that damn letter. but how am i supposed to live after almost 10 yrs mmg sentiasa ada KUCING di rumah??
i hate this feeling.. how i wish those cats just disappear.. it will make life so much easier.
i prefer them hilang/mati rather than me have to buang them kat mane2. its not easy ok after we treat them as our family member. BUKAN SENANG!! in fact my dad had done this last month. die buang 5cats altogether. me n my mom nangis lah.. and miracle does happen... 2 ekor kucing besar berjaya balik ke rumah ok!!

arrrgggghhhhhh!!!
cant think straight right now!!

i got it!

hye peeeps~

as what the title mention, yes i got it! i have my own car! owh no.. finally!! i am so happy.. even though its just a small car but it means a lot! viva elite-midnight blue-auto~ i love you! even i havent get a chance to drive u yet, i just hope we can get along baby! ngee~

on the other note, i was so close to get myself a boyfriend. haha ;p but it dosent work. its okay. wont give up so easily. will double my effort as i dont have so much time left. hehe ;p

new job~ cant comment about it much as i havent start doing my job yet. yeah i know it has been 2 mths. but dunno la. :((

okay thats all for now~ daa

shining 2010

i'm back!
2010 gonna be a great start for me!
i've been selected to join govt as a ptd contract (lantikan JPA)..
awesomeness~

thankful.. alhamdulillah
no words can describe my feeling..

and i lost 3 kgs~ yeah... only 5 more kg to shed.. ;)

other than that, remain the same~
daa~

long silence-090909

hey peeps...

ade yang misses me tak? hehe.
sorry for not updating...! been busy and super duper lazy!! huhu. yeah. this is not my primary blog. so i spend most of my time dekat my primary la.. which is.. http://dotdotdot.blogspot.com. haih. cannot tell la. if i tell then this blog no longer anonymous! haha.

so what i've been up to? nothing much. still the same routine... work n work.. more shopping.. put on weight.. haih.. dunno la. oh ya in my previous entry i mentioned about getting a new boyfie rite.. but it turned out i still single. i cant get along with him. baru 30mins borak kt ym yet he's getting on my nerves!

then this month is the 3rd months i've been working here. and i already started searching a new job. hehe.. mmg plan macam tu. sbb this job macam stepping stone for me. but it dosen't mean i take this job for granted. i still perform my level best.. and so far memang i pun top performer! yeay ;) i have to look for better option coz with the salary that i earn now, there's not much i can do. the basic is cukup2 for me every mth since i dnt have any commitment melainkan bg parents, ptptn and pay for my streamyx. simpan ade la sikit. and dpt shopping pon sikit. so i have to earn at least rm2k if want to have my own car. thats why i kne cr keje lain.. mintak2 tuhan murahkan rezeki.. i've been eyeing to join govt since forever.. hopefully my dream come true soon. i do really hope that 2010 gonna be my lucky year! yeah.. positive!!

ok lah.. enough rambling for today..

its not too late for me to wish all muslims

selamat menjalani ibadah puasa

&&

selamat menyambut hari raya aidilfitri


p/s: thanks dr sam for all ur comments! i really appreciate it!

indecisive

holla peeps.

was thinking to update more often here. but i'm so lazy these days.. plus tired. workplace, so far ok. well i'm not really in the right place as now in the midst of training. but fellow here is cool! me likey ;) its just a week but i felt like know them ages ago... ! and above all i've been assigned as a team leader! how cool is that? heee ;) but it comes with greater responsibilty, more works, etc..

hey if u noticed i kept babbling about how unlucky i am by not having a BF! but it's not anymore... no no no.. don't get me wrong.. i don't have any YET.. but i do have friends who wants to match me with someone, and there is a person who interested to know me better in fb and so on...
meaning there is a possibility that i'm gonna have a BF soon.. i hope so.. being me who is very shy and lack of confident, hard to find one! wish me luck people.. daa~

finally!

alhamdulillah...
i've got a JOB people! yes! after 7months struggling finding one now i've got it! it suppose to feel great to have one.. yet i feel nothing. i'm not excited as i suppose to be! what happen? okay let me tell ya
~here goes

1. money factor.. the salary is not that great.. i dont know the exact figure but it is lesser than what i used to receive when i was in cimb & during training.. but what can i say. i really need the job as if i dont care about money. i have to! tsk. :(
2. this job is not based on my qualification.. even a diploma holder can get it. i am degree holder!
3. i'm gonna work for long hours. but busy is good rite?

the rest let me keep it myself. hishhhh it was wrong to feel like this. rite?
whatever it is.. i am GRATEFUL...

i'm alone at home. hungry... n feels so miserable! tsk. dunno how to explain.

still looking for a job! can u believe it? i burst into tears at the time i write this. so pathetic! right now i feel like i want to ......! it has been more than 7 months i have no job. I am a degree holder! grade with second upper! why is it so hard for me to have a job! i've been looking for a job all over.
yet still no luck! but my friends who is only diploma holder, only went to a job interview once, n taraaa! she got the job!!! arghhhh.


malas nak taip. aku nak nangis sampai lebam nih. out.

konsert final AF 7 & perihal hadiah.

amaran: sila abaikan kata-kata yang ada sekiranya berbaur marah. sebab memang tengah marah pon. without delay, terus update blog!

okay.. konsert malam ni hampehhh!! takde satu pun yang menarik perhatian... lastweek punya konsert lagi best! adoiii.. pihak produksi tolong la pilih lagu yang best sikit...! macam hafiz dapat lagu anuar zain yang tak dikenali.. ramai tak tau lagu tu... dah lah setiap pelajar bawa lagu baru which memang tak pernah kita dengar. so at least the other song should be the famous one yet a great song! jangan la main tangkap muat je. lagu yang familiar lagu isma je sebab lagu misha omar tu memang tengah hot skang. yang lain out! ish. tu la yang buat konsert giler boring! pastu ac pulak banyak merepek2.. haih.. paknil u r the best la! trigger pun tak relevant. in a nutshell memang tak best!! nasib baik stacy nyanyi best..

okay2 sebenarnya aku ni tak puas hati pasal hadiah.. bukan ape no 5 lansung tak dapat apa-apa kecuali trofi... sebelum aku membebel lebih panjang sorry la kalau aku ade salah fakta ke.. sebab before ni aku tak heran pun pasal hadiah. tah kenapa kali ni cam nak heran pulak. haha.
kenapa no 5 dapat trofi je? tak kan la tak boleh bagi rm1000 ke?? tak ke kesian dalam 5 finalist yang no 5 je tak dapat apa-apa. kalau betul tak nak bagi, no4 pun tak patut dapat hadiah. baru fair and square. ini macam apa je.. kesian isma. padahal dah kaut untung bnyak melaului sms untuk isma sampai ke final. at least bagi la rm 1000 ke!! dah la sponsor sume nak bagi hadiah kat juara.. tu okay la sebab juara... pastu kalau memang dari awal takde hadiah untuk no 5, kenapa perlu 5 finalist?? korang rasa adil ke?? geram nyerr!! tapi aku tak berdaya nak buat apa. dah la malas nak cakap banyak.. kang ade pulak yang marah.. okaylah.

i'm thinking....

here's the thing.

which one is the worst?

you have a fantastic job, well paid, out of country. but you lost your loved ones.

OR

you don't have a job. not even a temp. but you still got your loved ones by your side each and every day.


CAN MONEY REALLY BUY HAPPINESS?
DOES MONEY THAT REALLY MATTERS?

what do you think?

Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian 2008

hari ni nak wat review pasal ABPBH 2008 lah.. yang baru je habis tadi... fresh lagi nih. hehe ;)
this is my personal opinion.. jangan nak sentap pulak. lain orang lain pendapat ok.. ;)

pengacara-adlin & sh shahira
boleh la. so-so je. adlin lagi sesuwai jadi pengkritik af okeh. rindu u takde kat konsert semalam. rugi taw. hehe ;)
shahira-boleh la kot cume xserasi dengan adlin. next time pilih somebody else to be ur partner! ataupun pihak penganjur sila consider cadangan i nih. xnak consider pon takpe. saya tau saya ni bukan sapa-sapa. haha nk emo pulak! haih *_*

keputusan:-

pengacara tv popular
as expected! aznil dan fara fauzana
congrats to aznil. mmg takde sapa boleh lawan. u r one & only pak nil! i like... *huge grin*
fara.. well takde pencabar. calon lain semua suam-suam kuku je. so mmg dah tentu farah boleh menang tanpa bertanding. note for fara-baju bahagian atas mmg lawa. tapi bile tengok sume da macam tak sesuwai jek.. ape pon layan la.... ;)

penyampai radio
-harap sgt pak nil menang.. tp faizal ismail menang lagi.. congrats la.. walaupun tak pernah dgr die pagi2 pon. saya tak dengar hot.fm. setia bersama era/sinar/mix/hitz shj. loyal giler. haha
-farah-congrats to her once again.. hope jugak linda boleh menang.. tp takpe ni zaman fara fauzana... !

artis nasyid
as expected-rabbani.. rasa sampai bila-bila kot. alhamdulillah :)

artis komedi
nabil-hurm.. kenapa lah rasa macam unhappy je ek? harap sgt zizan yg menang.
nur khiriah-congrats.. die mmg best.. tp kalo kenchana yg menang lg best kan.. heee ;)

artis baru
nabil lagi. series tak suka okeh. masa bagi ucapan nampak sgt nabil poyo. tak boleh blah betol
stacy-yeah u go girl! memang best. cuma stacy baju agak sexy. wow! tunduk jek sudah nmpak lurah dendam.tak sesuai okayyy. pls take note!

pelakon tv
haih. tak habis lagi zaman rosyam nor ni. rasa macam tak relevant. ape pon congrats la.
dynas-wow! this is great. memang dynas best pon... hehe ;)

penyanyi kumpulan/duo
Meet uncle hussin-as expected. sape lagi yg tgh hot kan...

penyanyi
mawi-alhamdulillah. wpun mcm xramai yg tepuk. tapi dah rezeki mawi. cuma pls potong rambut! nampak lain.. xhensem da. huhu
siti-wow!! siti mmg leh masuk record lah. no one can beat her so far!! me likey :) pakai tudung cmtu kan comel. pasni pakai tudung tutup semua ye dato' siti! amin :)

pelakon filem
que haidar-tak sangka!! tapi rezeki pengantin baru agaknya.. tahniah
maya karin-rasa biase2 jek. sbb saingan yg lain tak mencabar. tapi maya nmpak sgt western. dengan baju yg tak berlengan. lepas to ucapan pun.. haih. orang biasa alhamdulillah.. tp awak.. takpe la mungkin cara maya kot.. ape pun tahniah yer..

all in all- kenapa ramai sgt yg berlagak mcm cool tapi sebenarnye tak cool lansung bila berkaca mata hitam di dalam tempat yg tertutup macam tu! haih. pelik btol. nabil, MUH,faizal tahir,jamal abdillah.. tolong lah!

artis paling popular
nabil raja lawak
hoh dah agak.. tapi seriously i'm not HAPPY at all. menyampah lagi ade... i used to be his FAN long time ago. obviously masa die kt RAJA LAWAK. but not anymore. rasa nabil dah tak lawak lansung okay. ucapan pon tadi teserlah kepoyoaan nye! haih... pastu g peluk pulak irma. lagi aku nyampah. aku ni sebenarnya masih lagi conservative bab artis ni.. aku mmg automatik tak suka/berkenan la artis yg peluk2 ni. pastu pakai baju tak berlengan. tsk. nabil seolah-olah dah lupa diri. entah la. adakah aku je yang rasa camtu?? to nabil's fans, no offence! ni ape yang aku rasa. hak aku. korang nak suka, suka la. lagipon nabil da menang pun kan?

nabil kalo la ko baca ni, please.. ingat sikit okay.. jgn over.. nnti ramai tak suka. walaupun mungkin aku sorg je ke yang tak suka, tapi apa yang aku tegur tu betul kan? ko peluk irma depan khalayak.. close pulak tuh. nasib tak cium jek. ape pon nabil, lu pikirlah sendiri!

haih.. tak suke...... isk :((

dilemma

okay now i'm in dilemma. if before this i kept thinking about working and have a boyfriend but now it change. huhu. i just discover that one of my bestie during high school is might be leaving to scotland this sept for study. suddenly i feel so envy! yeah. envious. i want to study or working OS too! i burst into tears. i feel so hopeless, again! don't know how many times i kept thinking me being such a looser! huhu. then i google about how to further study abroad. i came accross a few forums which discussed about this. but it leads me nowhere. still don't know whether i am qualified or not. i just discover that i have to take IELTS exam. i also hit british council website. and i found that if i want to do MBA i have to at least have experience. oh.. i don't know about that. i read about the requirements.. hurm.. in a nutshell i don't think i am qualified yet... I want to do MBA maybe major in finance or Islamic Banking.. but don't know yet. it only take 1 year for me to complete my MBA. so i have come to conclusion that I will do my MBA when i married! by that time i might be experienced (more than what i am now) and i have clearer picture what i want to focus on and at the same time i am more matured. Amin.

p/s: i want to do my MBA here.

new entry

okay. its been awhile since my last entry. well I'm going to express bout my feeling today. i hate myself now! is it possible for us as a human to hate ourselves? i don't know.. but being me, yeah this is what i feel.. I HATE MYSELF..
it simply because

1. i have no one. meaning is a BOYFRIEND.. i'm in the mid of 20's yet no one. not even a fling! pathethic!

2. no career. no job. it has been more than 4 months i stuck doing nothing! can u believe it? it's already april. i hate this!

well.. at this moment these two reasons makes me feel i'm such a hopeless,useless........argghhh. stop.

sorry if there is grammatical error or whatsoever. i'm here to improve my english instead of blogging only.

jat da da da, isma & hafiz AF 7 ;)

baru je habis konsert af yang ke-2 tadi.. before ni aku kata tak nak layan kan af.. tapi nak wat camne dah memang penonton astro yang setia.. layan jugak akhirnya.. tapi still, i think aznil better to be the host! okay kali ni aku suka isma & hafiz! tambah pulak tadi isma nyanyi lagu favourite aku-jat da da da by dia fadilla.. best je die nyanyi.. memang dia ade rupa & suara siti.. but it's okay la.. bukan sebijik pon.. and hafiz.. memang best!! tengok diari pon dia low profile je.. suka sangat.. tak macam ade sorang tu sangat-sangta poyo walhal nyanyi tak sedap mana.. aku rase ni la kelebihan af.. kita boleh menilai kelakuan seseorang tu.. apa pun jom layan lagu jat da da da ni dulu okay.. hehe ;)

demam akademi fantasia sudah bermula!

Af7 dah start.. tp aku tak layan sangat pun.. baru tadi sekali tengok diari.. pelajar-pelajar pun aku tak kenal selain yang pakai tudung tu. huhu
so far takde la yang aku suka.. tak tau lagi konsert nanti nak tengok ke tak..

huhu.. raja lawak astro musim ke-3 dah habis.. sepah akhirnya juara.. i like! jihan pun masa second performance not bad.. cume amir je yang so-so. well aku kesian gak kat die tu.. bukan salah die masuk ke final.. salah orang yang mengundi dia! hoh.. faham-faham je la siapa yang undi tu kan. aku nak cakap banyak pun tak boleh sebab aku bukan ade vote pun. hehe ;) harap-harap sepah berjaya la.. and astro prima tolong cepat buat new season for jozan show okay.. i suka! lantak lah orang nak kata jozan merapu ke.. bukan senang nak puaskan hati semua. eh da melalut sampai ke mana ni..

sebenarnya aku nak share.. aku baru perasan rupanya aku ni pun persis af punya exstudent jugak..ye lah kalau perhatikan balik af1-af6 bukan semua berjaya jadi artis. boleh dibilang dengan jari! mana yang ada bakat pun belum tentu boleh berjaya tau! semuanya bergantung pada nasib dan rezeki dari tuhan.. macam tu lah jugak aku.. tempat training aku ni macam af.. a platform to join financial industry.. but i ended up jobless after i graduate. sama lah macam pelajar af yang tak berjaya.. like nurul af2, liza af1 dan lain-lain. bukan tak bagus cume rezeki belum berpihak pada aku.. macam baru-baru ni seramai 40 orang dapat kerja.. tapi aku bukan salah seorang dari mereka.. apa kurangnya aku? sama ja.. cuma tu lah, bukan rezeki.. tuhan mungkin ada percaturan yang lain untuk aku.. mungkin financial industry tidak sesuai buat ku.. hurm.. tapi tu lah.. tempat training tu still recruit for next batch walaupun batch yang ade ni belum semua kerja.. so sama la macam af.. walaupun ramai yang gagal selepas af tapi af 7 tetap ada.. hurmm.. okay lah.. sampai sini sahaja.. wasalam

halal atau haram?

aku tak faham betul dengan dia ni.. mengaku buat semua ni tapi bila ade orang persoalkan tentang halal & haram, melenting pulak! lepas tu, macam bangga pulak dia buat semua ni. nak kata jahil, ntah la.. sungguh pelik melihat manusia sebegini.. memang kubur masing-masing, tapi sebagai sesama Islam dah jadi tanggungjawab untuk menegur mana yang salah.. rasa geram je lepas baca kenyataan ni.. ya mungkin, sekarang kita berada di dunia akhir zaman..

hurm.. ni lagi satu hal. pelukan tidak berahi. pelukan tu berahi atau tidak, tetap berdosa! sesungguhnya aku sudah tak faham dengan dunia sekarang.. bukan sahaja artis malah budak-budak sekolah pun semakin menjadi-jadi. takut aku.. bukan nak kata diri sendiri bagus, tapi takut melihat keadaan sekeliling, semua menjadi-jadi tanpa ada batasan.. kebanyakan nya hanya Islam pada nama. cuba bayangkan apa beza kamu (yg berpakaian seksi, tidak menutup aurat) dengan bangsa lain? ade pulak tu kata "saya tak tau mana seksi saya". untuk mereka yang beranggapan sebegini, aku nak tau sangat, diorang ingat bila dah tak pakai baju ke baru seksi? ada tu seolah-olah bangga yang mereka tu seksi. bagi mereka seksi je, bukan tak pakai baju pun! nauzubillah..

Ya Allah kau jauhkan lah aku dari dugaan sebegini.. kau tetap kan lah IMAN ku agar aku tidak mudah terpengaruh dengan anasir-anasir sebegini.. dan kau berilah HIDAYAH kepada semua Umat ISLAM ..

maaf, entry ni macam aku ni baik sangat.. tidak.. aku pun masih banyak kekurangan.. hanya sekadar ingin berkongsi pendapat. mana yang baik dari ALLAH s.w.t, yang buruk dari aku. semoga kita semua dirahmati-Nya dan dilindungi-NYA. Amin :)

i have a crush on afiq af5? oh no!

okay semalam masa tengok af, suddenly it cross in my mind.
he looks like him! OMG.. can't believe it.. i stare at him without blinking my eye for a minute i guess. hehe ;p well if u wondering he looks like who.. let me tell ya.. afiq af5 resemble my secret admirer! maybe not 100% but still.. hurm. now u know my taste! haha ;)